Just for the record...
Looking back on it, last night's email could have been misconstrued as being the writings of a crazy man hellbent on some sort of Columbine-type shooting spree. Let me assure you that nothing could be farther from the truth. My headspace is squared away, more so than it has been in quite some time. I apologize if I alarmed you with what I had to say, that certainly wasn't my intention. I suppose I should have clarified. I am at peace with myself, and in general, am at peace with the rest of the world.
The point I was getting at there was, essentially, that I've “evolved”...at least, from a philosophical standpoint. There was once a time when I actually bought into all the “America! Fuck yeah!” bullshit, thinking that I actually had cause to celebrate the existence of this nation. I no longer feel this way.
There was once a time when I thought that the issues plaguing this nation were the result of some sort of problem or glitch within the system we were brought up to recognize as “the American Way”. The America you once knew as a child, “the way it used to be”, is no more. This is not because America's system of government has been subverted, it's because America's system of government has been utilized as intended.
I remember you once telling me about how my grandfather, your father, once said that we as “Southerners” were damned lucky to have lost the civil war...because every one of us “poor boys” would be slaves by now. Sadly, that's pretty much how it ended up anyway, even though no one has stood us up on an auction block and offered us up for public sale.
I once had a lot of hate in my heart. Hatred for the police, for the judges who gave them the “authority” to do the things they do, for the legislature who gives them their legal basis to fuck with you and I, etc.
I've moved past it. I'm doing my best to let go of the hate in my heart. I understand that there is no lever I can pull on election day, there is no sticker I can put on my car or sign I can put in my yard, and there is no membership card I can show to the next cop that will inevitably pull me over.
I likely won't change them, I won't stop them from doing what they do. I won't change their minds. The best I can do is keep living my life, and attempting to lead by example of doing what is right instead of raising hell about what other people are doing wrong.
It just feels a bit weird, knowing that I've once sworn my life to uphold and defend something...and then realize that the very thing you've sworn such an oath to is the very thing that has its' boot on your neck. At the end of the day, it matters not if it's a left boot or a right boot. What matters is being able to spot the fact that there's a boot on your neck.
That's where I'm at today. I am seeing “the system” for what it truly is. There is no savior, no matter who it may be, who is going to wave his Freedom Wand and remedy the situation. Our remedy for the situation is going to be to get to know our neighbors and take care of ourselves, like it was done back in the day.
I remember discussing this with a preacher a while back, after he gave a sermon about the things going on in this country. Abortion, pointless wars, a welfare state that breeds laziness, and a police state that breeds fear...all of which are paid for by the American taxpayer, who are forced to fork over thousands of dollars to this system every year.
I asked him, “At what point do we say 'enough is enough' and stand up against it?”. I was confused, because I was told that a lack of a government would lead to lawlessness and the destruction of some sort of “order required by God” or something. I was directed to the chapter of Romans 13, the first seven verses telling us to submit to slavery.
I found the strangest irony in the fact that most churches in this nation proudly display an American flag, often make it a point to “pray for the troops” (and in the case of Sam's church, even praying for the safety of the police), and continue to reinforce the notion of obedience to government. “God bless America” is a common theme, even though this nation was founded by a very small percentage of people who took up arms against government over what amounts to a slight fraction of the taxation we currently pay. If we are commanded by God to submit to those who rule over us, how can we truly ask God to bless a nation born of revolution against its masters?
Going even further, how can a nation born of revolution against taxation which in reality was a mere pittance of what we are shelling out today, sit and be proud of a nation that taxes every working man into the ground at every turn? The idea of “freedom” is a sad joke in this country, one that so many of our fellow countrymen don't even understand.
You can't drive a car, sell a house, buy a cheeseburger, or even get married in this country without having to get some form of government permission slip and/or pay a tax for the privilege of doing so. I think I've finally realized that there is no stopping Leviathan. Written into the United States Constitution is the authority of government to do this. Our constitution does not prevent government from taxing or regulating the ever-living shit out of everything we could ever think to do or own, it merely dictates whether it's the federal, state, or local government that gets to do it to you.
If you resist taxation or other government-sponsored impositions on your life, you are fined. If you resist fines, you are jailed. If you resist jail, you are shot. I suppose, in the case of America, what makes us such a “great nation” is the fact that we aren't just taken outside and shot for not giving up what we have to government goons, they have to give us “due process” before they shoot us!
It finally dawned on me that a man can understand and accept something as being the way it is, the way it was, and the way it's going to be...without accepting it as being morally righteous.