Tuesday, May 3, 2011

I think I must have missed something somewhere...

So, are you believing the hype? Come on, you know what I'm talking about. The death of Osama Bin Laden, aka “Tim Osman”.

Yesterday morning, I woke up to a text message from my other half, telling me that the TV was saying we'd killed Osama. I got up and started rockin' the Googles, and learned that our government was saying that a 40-minute raid had resulted in his death via a very bad case of acute cranial lead poisoning. I saw a photo of the alleged corpse being passed around by various media outlets, and instantly recognized it to be bullshit. Then, I became truly amazed. All of these various media outlets, almost literally right before my very eyes, started mysteriously but quietly removing the photos. MSNBC even ran a contributor's blog showing how it was a forgery, and then declaring it to have been “released by Pakistani media”.

That right there is what got my gears grinding upstairs. Then, we see the various reports being put out by the White House, and things are really starting to NOT add up.

  1. For the first time in the history of the United States, a major enemy has been “killed and confirmed”...with absolutely no proof whatsoever being provided, other than a simple statement.

  2. The first reports claimed Bin Laden had used his wife as a “human shield”, as he fired from behind her...and then, the White House retracted those statements, saying that Bin Laden was not armed. He was, however, “resisting” somehow. You know, like when the cops are beating your fetal-position-keeping ass, while screaming at you to “stop resisting”.

  3. The body was quickly escorted off to an aircraft carrier, where it was “identified, prepared, and then buried at sea according to Islamic tradition”...for the first time, in the history of the Muslim religion.

Of course, a great deal of people are speculating as to what really happened. Honestly, I don't know. One of my friends jokingly stated yesterday that they “glued some pubes to a mannequin, set it on fire to make it look disfigured from a gunbattle, and then threw it in the ocean”.

My personal belief is that, while I don't know what really happened during this supposed raid and/or sea burial, Osama Bin Laden was not killed. You see, the Osama Bin Laden we've come to hate as the Emmanuel Goldstein of our time was suffering from severe kidney malfunction, and is known to have been in an American hospital for dialysis treatments shortly before the 9/11 attacks. You don't have serious kidney issues and survive in a third-world cave for years upon end.

Then, we have the fact that unless he got a nose job, turned black, started using JustForHajji beard dye, sawed seven inches off his legs, and gained 60 pounds, every video of him proclaimed to be “current” was an obvious fake. Considering that the FBI has admittedly used the photo of a Spanish MP as his “age progression” double, and the CIA has admitted to faking his videos, I'd say they're bogus.

By the way, have you googled “Tim Osman” yet?

Then, let's look at some of the US media cooperation in what appears to be the bullshit story of the century. Ever hear of a woman named “Victoria Marshman”? Well, if you're a fan of television, you might recognize her as being a contestant of reality television shows such as “America's Next Top Model”. If you've been watching the idiot box over the past two days, you may have seen her again. Thing is, it's been via staged interviews from our media outlets as they cover “spontaneous celebrations”. You may have seen her via videos from USAToday, or FreeThinkMedia, participating in these revelries.

So what can be gained from all of this? Well, the list is quite extensive, if you're of the mindset that there really isn't a “left vs. right” thing going on within our government.

  1. Legal precedent has been set, allowing government to assassinate (read: MURDER) without charges or even a formal indictment. This, in and of itself, should be frightening to you enough.

  2. The issue of Pakistan, long-since having been an area known to be of strategic importance for the oil and natural gas industries, would be of great worth if it were to meet with the same fate as Iraq, Libya, Afghanistan, etc. Seen a map of Pakistan lately? Imagine if the US occupied it. Remember those oil and natural gas pipelines that have been planned for years, running from Kazakhstan? Well, if we control Pakistan, we instantly have a straight route to the Persian Gulf without having to bother with Iran. Given the manner in which Pakistan is said to have had their central military base in such a close proximity to Bin Laden's compound, there will certainly be insinuations of impropriety and corruption amongst their intelligence service personnel with regard to the whereabouts of Osama Bin Laden. “Prove” they knew it, and there's a pretext for war. Google “Trans-Afghanistan Pipeline”.

  3. The China issue...a continuation of the strategic importance of Pakistan. While Afghanistan and Pakistan both sit practically right next to China, Pakistan is actually directly bordering China...and has both a far greater infrastructure than Afghanistan, as well as direct access to the Gulf of Oman. Capture Pakistan, and you've got a vast array of military bases right next to China in the event of a war over US debt cancellation.

  4. The political benefits are far too large to count. Lest we forget, this news came exactly eight years, to the day, of Bush's “Mission Accomplished” photo op/speech on that aircraft carrier...just what was needed to boost himself into re-election. Eight years later, Obama was in sore need of a boost at the polls. Overnight, his approval rating went from being amongst the worst in our nation's history, to as high as 67%. While the economy remains embedded in the worst state it's been since the Great Depression and our government “fixes” the inflation rate statistics by leaving out the rising costs of fuel and bread, we have have massive unemployment (I know this for a fact...I work for a company that provides janitorial services, and occasionally, even hot chicks are applying for a job to scrub toilets!)...but we announce that we've killed a “terrorist” that has never been officially indicted for any crime, in a sovereign nation that is supposedly our “ally” (without authorization, I might add), in the midst of a war we have yet to formally declare, and you get a bunch of frat boys slamming bottles of Chivas on the White House lawn and partying like it's 1999 as they chant “USA! USA! USA!”. Did wonders for that approval rating, didn't it?

I could go on and on about various things this situation has done to work in a positive manner for the powers that be, but I'd like to hope you're getting the idea here. The point I'm trying to make is simple. For years, since Obama took office, we've been hearing about how he's a “Muslim socialist anti-American”, and can't be trusted...even if it's as simple as telling us who farted at the dinner table.

All of a sudden, you've heard the news. A 6'6” Arab with a microphone in one hand and a dialysis machine in the other, who has somehow managed to live undetected for ten years traveling back and forth between the caves of Afghanistan and the luxury mansions of Pakistan (right next to their army, no less!), has finally been killed. The most well-funded and technologically-advanced military on the planet spent ten years, several thousand fatal casualties, two trillion dollars, and still couldn't find him....but you get told that we tortured a few guys at Guantanamo Bay to find out where he's at, all of a sudden there's a SEAL team raid putting a couple bullets in his head, and you're popping corks like it's New Years' Eve? And you're bitching because we “succumbed to Sharia law” by burying him at sea, without even seeing pictures?

Wait, I missed something, didn't I?

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